The Misadventures of Oscar McFoisy

In 1976, The Misadventures of Oscar McFoisy were published in thirty-six weekly British Columbia newspapers for two years and was featured in the BC Outdoor magazine for a year. The fictitious outdoor lawbreaker of the seventies was created by Doug Adolph, a Bush Pilot and Conservation officer then working in the Prince George detachment. It was his way to draw attention to the rules and regulations of hunting, fishing and environmental protection. The articles were humorous, many of which were drawn from real life experiences. Officer Adolph was the recipient of an international competition award for creating a preventative enforcement program that was favoured within the outdoor recreational community.
The Provincial Ministry of Environment distributed countless leaflets of the character and the slogan ‘‘so don’t ever be like Oscar McFoisy’ to encourage outdoorsmen to observe, record and report wildlife and environmental offences in the province. Several jingles with an outdoor theme and the Slogan ‘Don’t ever be—like Oscar McFoisy’ were played over the radio.
One of the country's most talented artists, Doug Penhale, was chosen to produce drawings for a children's music book of rhymes that introduced young people to fishing and the rules and regulations of environmental issues. Many other ‘Oscar McFoisy’ projects including the production of posters were started using Mr. Penhale's extraordinary artistry.
Forty-six thousand posters were produced by ‘McFoisy Productions’ for the Federal Department of Fisheries and Oceans Canada. The posters show Oscar in embarrassing situations as he broke fishing rules and environmental laws. The posters were distributed to marinas, outdoor sports stores and outdoor associations. The program was growing rapidly until the Progressive Conservative Party came to power. During that time, the Liberal government (Fisheries and Oceans Canada) and McFoisy Productions were in the process of signing a meaningful funding agreement to expand the program. The new Progressive Conservative Minister of the Environment announced that the program be canceled because he thought that drawing attention to environmental issues through the antics of Oscar McFoisy was inappropriate. The Misadventures of Oscar McFoisy and related projects were put to sleep in 1981. The program has recently been dusted off with an eye to re-establish the characters as symbols of how not to behave in the outdoor environment.
Biography
Oscar McFoisy was born in a cabin on a bend of the ‘Bluewater River’, about ten miles from the Village of Muskrat Flats. There were no neighbours there and no children to play with but his twin, Discharge Charlie.
Oscar's brother was called ‘Discharge’ because he was always throwing fish guts into the Bluewater River to attract a sturgeon. He always wanted to see what might be in a fish's belly. He knew they were big enough to swallow a canoe, a coyote or even a relative. He found all sorts of things in trout and other small fish including a jack knife, several coins and a still-ticking Timex watch. He thought he found Poolhall Mike's thumb in a catfish once but everyone knew Mike lost it trying to start a model airplane engine about a mile from the river. Although most sturgeons are really dumb, they are smart enough not to swim by a dock holding up a masked man with a frying pan in his hand. Charlie always wore a mask in case he was ever caught throwing fish guts or in case someone wanted to tell him apart from his brother Oscar.

Because it was too far to Muskrat Flats neither of the boys attended school, an embarrassment to school officials and the local police department. Whenever the town truant officer visited the McFoisy residence to nab the boys and drag them into custody, Mr. McFoisy and Oscar's mom would go storming into the next meeting of the school board and let everyone know that Oscar and his brother Charlie were being home schooled and by the time they were grown up they would know as much as he did. Most of the members of the school board knew that neither of the boy's parents had ever attended school, couldn't read, couldn't add or even do up a shopping list. They lived on Bluewater river fish, venison, grouse, their vegetable garden, hogs, a half acre of barley, dandelion root mixed with yeast, wild plants, willow bark medicine and whatever was laying around the shelves of the Muskrat Flats Bakery and convenient store when someone forgot to lock up after work.
Both Oscar and Charlie grew up to be talented fish skinners, evening net setters, night hunters, stream polluters’ and generally unenvied environmental nuisances and knife sharpeners. Discharge Charlie had two children with Flora, the convenience store girl, who was excommunicated and finally married before she, Charlie and the kids took the Greyhound over to Al's Discount Fish House near the provincial border. Oscar met Clara at the male and escort side of the Muskrat Flats Hotel Bar and Grill.
When Oscar's parents died on they left Oscar the house and property. By the time Oscar was 48 he had become skilled as a poacher, hunter, angler, trapper, wood-cutter, beer maker and edible plant harvester. Until that time the Game Wardens had all charged Oscar with numerous wildlife offences. Oscar often got away with his behaviour by telling the judge he couldn't read and prayed for forgiveness. This worked until Judge Panflower died and was replaced by the notorious Judge Deepcut, a man known as the 'hanging Judge' and a man known for showing no mercy to anyone who couldn't spell or do laundry.
Around the same time Conservation Officer G. Thornton was posted to Muskrat Flats. He was soon referred to as Warden Gordon Thornton.
Oscar was a single man, except for a stint at marriage in which he had two identical children with Clara who went back to slinging beer at the Muskrat. She could still spend a few days with the twins whenever she wanted.

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