Family in Hinduism

Parivar by love
In Hindu tradition, family is a spiritual institution. Family is an emotional communion or 'a sense of inseparation' or 'in love'. Child birth is just one of the ways of creation of a family. Because an infant and its mother are in love; that sense of inseparation or communion is a family. 'Love' means, absolute inseparation where there is 'no other'. It is seen in act of sacrifices of a mother who is without a sense of any measurement and acts without any thought of expectations. A mother does all cleaning, feeds the baby and takes care of its safety at her peril because she and her baby exist with 'a sense of inseparation'. She even slaps the baby and gives punishment when needed, and the baby is equally unfearful and at absolute liberty to spoils households and breaks utensils and toys, but all of this, with a sense of inseparation. There is no measurement, no accounts kept, and neither is, any arbitrator nor laws, nor influence of the external world. Love of Yashoda and Sri Krishna is a legend. This 'sense of absolute inseparation' or pure love, is also called 'Bhakti' (connected).

Parivar by relationship
When child grows up, his/her intellect starts to develop. External influences trigger a process of separation in creating a new understanding of the 'you and me'. A child and mother thus start losing the 'love' or 'sense of inseparation'; and beginning to replace it with an idea of 'relationship'. Relationship means, making a kind of 'toll free' bridge across two dinstinct personalities, where each one of them can move across, and yet maintaining a separation. This 'toll free' bridge gives freedom, and yet connectedness provided that 'respect' of relationship is maintained. This is concept of 'a family based on relationship'. Here, love and respect differs finely, but by intriguing concepts of inseparation and relationship (separation with a toll free bridge).

Relationship defined
A family thus, is an institution of a spiritual purity where people respect 'relationships' (called toll free bridges), where they are free and yet have all advantages of connectedness. In this way, conflicts can never arise, and sustainability comes with it by its large size and fulfilling needs and emotional contentment. Relationships in a family evolve and is defined suitably for creating a large network of bridges. Hindu family has a very developed network of relationship. Here is a list of popular terms:

Pita - Father

Mata - Mother

Bhai - Brother

Dada - Elder brother

Mausi - Sisters of the mother

Mausia - Husband of 'Mausi'

Mama - Brothers of the mother

Mami - Wife of 'Mama'

Chacha - Younger brothers of father

Chachi - wife of 'chacha'.

Bade Pita - Elder brothers of father

Badi Ma - wife of 'bade Pita'

Bhatiza - sons of 'Chacha' / cousin brothers

Bhatizin- daughters of Chacha or Bade Pita

Dada - Father of the father

Dadi - Wife of Dada

Nani- Mother of mother

Nana - Husband of 'Nani'

Pati - husband

Patni - wife

Purta - son

Putri - Daughter

Sala - brothers of wife

Sali- sisters of wife

Jeth - Elder brother of husband

Jethani- wife of 'Jeth'

Dever- Younger brother of husband

Devrani - wife of 'devar'

Sasur - father of husband

Samadhi - father of wife

Samadhin- wife of Samadhi

Besides these, Hindu society (family by relationship) is inclusive of natural deities in the relationship

Cow - mother

Ganga - mother

Trees, mountains, rivers are all included in the bridges of emotion and these are 'respected' because anything that is taken from it are without measurement, is free to all, and every one is duty bound to protect it without anyone even thinking of becoming an owner of these or dividing it or any evil thoughts.

When Relationship is Immatarial
Where anything is becoming a subject of measurement, this cannot be a society (or family by relationship) but a market. In markets, individual self interests are high, and to prevent any potential conflicts, measurements are established, and also laws that can put 'restraint on arm twisting'. But there is no concept of relationship in the market. This bridge is not 'toll free' and definition of 'you and me' is measured in value or measurement. Because things are measured in certain value, there is no concept of respect. This is replaced by 'importance'. Important people are measured on certain criteria, and the value keeps changing. When people are not valuable, importance is reduced.

Markets operate with value (measurement) and none of them can have a right to relationship. Everything is calculated in a value (measurement) or 'importance'. No one is 'important' inside a society because definition of value is not even needed there. No one is 'respectful' in a market because each one is measured in value or 'importance'. For example, father, mother, wife, cow etc.. are identification of various relationships (toll free emotional bridges) and is free way of 'respect'; but judges, or police or ministers or prostitutes are paid authority or valued ('importance' measure) persons and are accessible only on a restricted or 'toll' bridge across one another. A judge or prostitute, businessman or any paid authority is forbidden by law, to have any emotional attachment and must act without a right to relationship.

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