Speed round ball

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'In speed round ball nobody wins'

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Speed Round Ball originates from Southampton in England. It was founded by Ben Ford the first and only Speed Roundball 'dictator'(who serves as an umpire) and the first 2 players, Ryan Baker and George Howells.
Speed Round Ball is played on the speed round mobile which is just a meter long metal pole with a diameter of around 15 cm on top of that is a spring that pivots on the spot on top of the spring is a pole around over 2 meters that bends down at the end and has a seat on the end.

The aim of the game is to get the ball and to receive as little speed rounds as possible and receive as many slow rounds as possible.

Slow and Speed rounds

A 'Speed round' is achieved by the other person picking up the 'ball' or possibly bad sportsmanship. In a 'Speed round' the Dictator (or if he is not present a Dicktaker) will run into the court push the Speed Round mobile and punch the person whos speed round it is.

A 'Slow round' is more rare and achieved by good sportsmanship, good play, or genraly impressing the Dictator. In a 'Slow round' the Dictator or Dicktaker will run into the court slow down the speed round mobile and hug whoevers 'Slow round' it is, during this Barry White's 'I gunna love you just a little bit more baby' is played.

It is better to have more Slow rounds than to have less Speed rounds.

The 'Ball'

The 'Ball' in 'speed round ball' is a, 2 litre, lemonade bottle purchased from 'Somerfield'. A new 'ball' is bought every time the game is played. The bottle is half emptied, (it can be emptied more), and the wrapper is taken off. At the end of the game that is played, or the tournament, the winner, drinks the remaining lemonade out of the bottle. (The bottle is usually screwed up anyway).

Speed Round Ball Quotes

'In speed round ball.... nobody wins'. - Ben

'Yeorge, I'm sorry. I didnt make the rules'. - Ben

'If you question the dictator, you're gonna get BEATZ!' - A rule.

'Fat people jokes/ Cheesy puns.' - Everyone, Anytime, All the time.

Profesional League

The entire Proffesional league is yet to be set up, to enter the league you have to have won a total of 15 speed roundball games. So far the only 2 people to have achieved this feat are Greg Jackson, and Brett Judd, considering how only two people have achieved this the proffesional league has not started yet . The 'Ball' is the same as usual. The professional league is played in the coldest mountains of Siberia, (no matches have yet been played, We are awaiting planning permission to build a collusium there). The collusium will have a giant 100,000 person seating area, and a bull riding type place. The rotating, spinning see-saw is in the middle with the main Dictator, Ben Ford, putting the bottle in the match. The walls around the arena are full of spikes, so the person, either Greg or Brett, dies when they fall off. Also, the Dictator doesnt meed to spin the 'see-saw' as it runs on tear gas using a complex system of pistons and small foreiners to work the valves, and also, instead of a punch, napalm sprays in there face when they get a speed round.

Log Of Speed Roundball Tournaments

Currently there has only been one tournament which dated from 30th of May 2008 to 31st of May 2008. This tournament was based in Hedge End. The champion was Matt Johnson. The tournament involved Matt Johnson (winner), George Howells, Ryan Baker and then in complete last place with a total of 0 wins was Josh Adams, and Dictating was Ben Ford, The Almighty. MJ may have won but, remember, In Speed Rounball, nobody wins.

George Howells V's Ryan Baker
(winner) (lost)

Josh Adams V's Matt Johnson
(lost) (winner)

For the winner....
George Howells V's Matt Johnson
(lost) (winner of tournament)

For the looser...
Ryan Baker V's Josh Adams
(winner) (lost)

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1st place= Matt Johnson
2nd place= George Howells
3rd place= Ryan Baker
4th place= Josh Adams

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