Petezza

dgates: PETEZAA is officially no longer mythical since a sufficiently large number of people celebrate this as an actual holiday. There are now multiple PETEZAA celebrations that take place at various rib joints, however, only those that serve Miller Lite.

Petezaa is a mythical secular holiday running from December 5th - December 12th. December 5th begins the Southern Maryland celebration of Petezaa. Founded by Pete in 2003 as his personal version of the modern made up holiday of Kwanzaa. Contrary to popular belief Petezaa is not a celebration of all things Pete, although that is a damn good idea, but a holiday that means pretty much nothing.

Each day of Petezaa participants follow a theme that is randomly made up by the founder of Petezaa, PETE! Pete is a member of a regional internet forum somd.com, Petezaa's birthplace. Petezaa was created by Pete in 2003 in answer to Kwanzaa. One night when assisting Boy in homework Boy asked "What is Kwanzaa?" So we looked it up anticipating it to be some ancient African tradition brought to modern times from the Dark Continent. Much to my amusement it was actually just made up. Yes some guy just made it up. Dr. Maulana Karenga, a professor at Cal State Long Beach in 1966. So I decided that if he could just make up a holiday and get a national following so could I and thus Petezaa was born. Kwanzaa has 7 days so not wanting to be outdone in the made-up holiday category Petezaa is 8 days. Beginning on December 5th and ending midnight on the 12th.

Each day has a theme of some sort and to encourage spontaneity and creativeness I make it up as it goes, even take suggestions. Unlike those other made-up holidays Petezaa is interactive. Suggestions should be made by posting them at somd.com. Some days themes are predetermined such as the first day dedicated to Petezaa recruitment.

The first day of Petezaa we all should take a few moments to reflect on the things that are important to us. Petezaa revelers should make it a point to follow the themes for each day of the celebration. Also you should take the effort to send tidings of good cheer to the First Saint of Petezaa, Otter who can be found at somd.com. It is also the duty of all Petezaa celebrants on the first day to promote Petezaa to those who do not know about it.

So hopefully each of you has your Petezaa tree up and some Petezaa decorations (which are very similar to Christmas decorations to save time and money) and are in the spirit for a fun filled 8 days of Petezaa.

Extra Petezaa points are earned for creativity, humorous reactions, and boldness.

In addition as a solemn tribute to Petezaa the first day of Petezaa shall be a celibate day. From 12AM until 11:59PM on the 5th all Petezaa celebrants shall not engage in any “Boom Boom”. If you must you must serve a penalty by buying the Petezaa founder (me) and the 1st Saint of Petezaa (Otter) Miller Lite at Jethros on a date mutually agreed upon.

This year Petzaa falls on the first day of Hanukkah. For all my Jewish friends I understand that Hanukkah is a real holiday and should there be any conflicts in the rituals or traditions between Hanukah (real holiday) and Petezaa (non traditional secular holiday) Hanukkah trumps Petezaa but you must tithe to the founder and the 1st Saint of Petezaa in the form of Miller Lite.

The tradional breakfast of Petezaa is the doughnut. Tradititional drink of Petezaa is beer.

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