Jim Anchower

Jim Anchower is the fictional author of “The Cruise”, a column that appears in the satirical magazine The Onion. Readers are met with a friendly “Hola, amigos,” followed immediately by the apologetic "I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya," and an analogy to explain his limited free time ("the waters are not always smooth in Lake Anchower") from the easy-going and robustly directionless Jim.

Jim's articles cover his various meandering exploits, which usually involve his pursuit and use of marijuana and beer, the decrepit state of his car, and anecdotal analysis of his current menial job.

Jim is usually joined in these pursuits by his friends Ron Wheat and Wes "The Bomb" Baumgartner. Ron appears to be just as clueless as Jim, while just slightly more responsible (he was Jim's boss at the carbonics plant) while Wes is genuinely good-natured and responsible, looking after Jim when his leg was broken and attempting to help Jim locate a new apartment. Wes has been hanging out less with Jim and Ron as of late as he has a serious girlfriend, Mindy Dawes.

Over the course of his writing career, he has worked at a hospital cafeteria, California Fajita Cantina (where he was fired for trying to take a customer’s plate before he had finished, and subsequently calling the customer "Tubbo"), a coat check in a museum (he quit after a manager complained about a sauce stain on his shirt), as a shuttle bus driver at an airport, as a worker at a carbonics plant, and as a sales associate at a large chain electronics store.

Jim drives a Ford Festiva and considers the Nintendo Game Cube his favorite video game system. His favorite movie is Dude, Where's my Car? and his beer of choice is Miller Genuine Draft.

Onion writer Joe Garden is the actual author of the Anchower columns.

External links
< Prev   Next >