The Turncake Project

The Turncake Project are a major upcoming band in current barbershop metal scene. Their characteristic sound is comprised of fast paced punk rhythms and their trade mark 10 minute clapping solos.

Backstory

They originate from Northern Ireland and are currently all members of "Wifey McBeattys Underground Mole Circus" troop. They have recently found a niche market in Japan and have signed their first record deal with Team Conroy Records Ltd. They are touring all over the earth later this year and details can be found on their website . Following their recent success in Japan and Mongolia they have sold 23.7 million copies of their debut album "Sliced Bread" and expectations for their latest album "The Best Thing Since" are high. They were formed in 2000 when a group of like minded individuals realised their shared love of pteradactyls, cheap cologne and barber shop metal. They quickly developed a triple axe attack and a love for drum and bass. What ya gonna do?

These people were:

Artistes

Thomas Bone Vocals Samuel Boy Guitar Kyle Nose Guitar David Beard Guitar Paul Pongpong Bass Houston Percussion

This line-up is a rock solid group of tykes and tear aways whose anti-capitalist views have had them banned and exiled from various countries all over the U.S.A.

The band has since took up a lawsuit angainst the U.S.A. and has swore to pour every penny they win into the mongolian barbershop metal scene. It is believed the number 1 hit "steal from the bastards and give to Orientals" took it's inspiration from the ordeal. Despite heavy media pressure George W. Bush has refused to comment publicly on the Turncakes Excile.

The Following is A List Of The TurnCakes Songs And Albums:

The Turncakes : Oops Wrong Turn!
1.Turn Baby Turn
2.Slice of Heaven
3.My Turn!
4.My Biggest MisCake
5.BackFire At The Bakery
6.Totally Baked

A Turning Cake Gathers No Moss

1.I Think im Turning Veitnamese
2.Two Teirs of Iced Love
3.Flour, Eggs, ACTION.

Cake Trouble :The Turning of a Revolution

1.Welcome to Cake Country, No brownies
2.Burn The Brownies
3.Where are All The Brownies Coming From?
4.Chocolate Cake? I Dont Think so.
5.Pongpong's your Sugar Daddy

The 'Cakes Last Slice

1.One in the oven
2.SelfRaised
3.Thrown in the mix
4.The Secret Ingredient
5.Tackle The Turncake
6.If I'd Known You Were Comin'

Artisticles Backstory

Houston "Houston" Houston- Originally named Frank Mugglestone by his dirty muggle father he quickly shed his real name and took on the veiled helm of a warrior of justice. His job at the legion of doom wasn't really working and so he reverted to his old livestock stealling ways while making a tidy living on the illegal baby market as a fetus merchant. Whilst beating the skull of a baby into a more attractive shape one day he discovered an unnatural talent for percussion. He sold his company to Sam McKee and moved to Mongolia where he replaced current 'Cake drummer Floyd Collins. The rest as they say is boring.

Paul PongPong- Paul Was Summoned To The Earth By The Great Wizard of Amonroo. Origionally a Stone Golem Type Creature He Befriended a Skilled Necromancer who used the blood of a thousand demons, and an ancient decayed wolf carcus to create the man beast that leaves his fans screaming in the agony of an eardrum that is no more. Pongpong, cast out of his local Hillian Village as a result of his love of 'Fingering' turned his obsession to the greater good, when he Invented The Bass Guitar, Called the 'Bass' As he used the whiskers of the Golden Gilled Rainbow bass to create the Strings that salvaged his otherwise desolate mortality. Paul is now a legend to BarberShop Metal Zooligists, and anglers alike. Kudos To Your PongPong.

Kyle Nose- Unfortunately not much is known of Kyle's early years as when he was discovered by mankind, he was scientifically proven to be older than the hills. Many rumours are in circulation in regards to his biology, some claiming he has the pancreas of a stoat, some that he has the eyes of voles and some that he has the wolfen growl of a badger. So far no rumours have been proven or disproven. Since his discovery by fellow band member "Houston" Houston in the early late-spring season of 'aught eight, he has been playing the part of a socialite and can regularly be seen in glossy magazines with fellow band member David Beard in tow. Kyle is frequently referred to in fan circles as El Pompador, and is well renowned for his ominous-sounding catch phrase, 'Gravy and Puddin' please, Mrs Jacobi, and a tuppen'orth of milk to boot!'

David Beard- Born in parts unknown to a wise old wizard and his centar mother(who died during childbirth). David quickly picked up the art of magic at a young age specualising in the art of conjuration. David became so advansed at conjuration and summoning he could start to bring forth mighty planets into existance, but this was his downfall. Foolishly David began to beleive he was a God, giving and ending life as he saw fit. This enraged his father, who gathered all the powerfull wizards of the land and created a grand army to rival Davids power. lead by the mighty wizard of Amonroo and his Golems as generals. They defeated David and deminished his power, or so they thought. David was spared due to the kindness of the then stone golem Paul Pongpong, and was held in captivity. Initially bitter at his defeat, Davids heart begann to melt and grow to match the kindness of the now "human" Paul. This was where David was intoduced to barbershop metal. Weeks begame months and months became years and David was so entranced with Paul's bass skills and pure heart that David used his last reserve of magical energy, that he had planned to use for his escape, to bring forth a mighty guitar the likes the world had never seen. David began to practise continusly whilst in captivity. As his skill grew, so did his friendship with Paul to a point he could be released and trusted, more than that even loved, for David had seen the error of his ways. Together united in an unbreakable bond of friendship the duo helped to formm the legendary band the Turncake Project. David now allways declines accusitions that the are Barbreshop metal 'Gods'

Thomas Bone- Thomas Bone otherwise known as Boney Mac first founded his love for singing when he was a mere child of seven years old, growing up was hard on the lad, this was mostly due to the hardship he endured from an abusive mother (Known to him as "the WolfMother")her identity is kept hidden for legal reasons. But over the years growing up became easier when Boney be-friended a spriteful young song bird known to be a blue tit, which would explain the,(described by Kerrang magazine as "unorthadox"), first album cover.

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