The Diarrhea Song

The Diarrhea Song or Diarrhoea Song (see spelling differences) is a children's song popularized by, although predating, the 1989 Steve Martin film Parenthood, in which it was featured. The song is a folk song, with variants to the lyrics and to the tune used for the song (a common tune is that of "Mamma Mia" by ABBA). The earliest report of this song is from the mid-1960s (See Sherman & Weisskopf).

Lyrics

As with all folksongs, there are often wide variants to the verses known to individuals but some of the most common verses for "The Diarrhea Song" are sometimes sports, automobile or travel related and can include a uh uh or a cha cha cha after the Diarrhea, Diarrhea part, or sometimes two hand claps, or "cha, cha", at the end of each two-line stanza. All of these are onomatopoetic "Plop, Plop" (diarrhea, plop, plop, diarrhea.) More recently, especially in written record, it is preferred to use only 'Diarrhea... diarrhea', allowing the reader to add their own localization based on preference.

Although many different lyrical variations exist, all share the same structure. First, a common activity or scenario is described. Then, the appearance of something soft, runny, smelly, messy, sloppy, squirty, and/or gooey is noted. The terminal lyric confirms that that aforementioned substance is, indeed, diarrhea.

It is very common for the terminal lyric in each of the first two lines (those that come before "diarrhea") to rhyme, making the piece particularly musical.

An example of the lyrics, the variation made famous by the movie Parenthood, is as follows:

"When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea."

It should be noted that the character is cut off before the second "diarrhea," but the line otherwise illustrates the basic structure of the song, which can be (and traditionally is) altered in countless ways at the reciter's whim.

Other examples:

"When you're driving in your Chevy and you feel something heavy, diarrhea."

"When you're watchin' on the TV and there's something kinda leaky, diarrhea."
 
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