Slippery John

A Slippery John, (also known as a Welsh Tea), is a hot beverage that is composed of approximately 85% English Breakfast Tea and 40% imported Lager.

This drink combines two tradionally English fluid pursuits: Tea and Lager. Oddly, it was conceived in Aberdyfi, in Wales, and is largely believed to be the brown child of local ruggist Joprph-Tuesllwdawy Jowyb. He is said to have created the drink in an attempt to appease his hopelessly split personality; those of 'Johnny the Rug' and 'Spike'. After taking a large whelch, he ran to the town lighthouse to consult the priest, informing him that he no longer intended to attend Sunday service as he had 'touched the face of God', an utterance later wrongly credited to John Gillespie Magee, Ronald Reagan and even Bozo the Clown.

Preparation

As with tea, preparation methods vary throughout cultures, continents and dimensions. Most commonly, the lager is poured directly from the can or bottle into the tea before milk or sugar is added. Again, this varies with personal preference.

Criticism

While the Slippery John has recently been revealed to be the breakfast drink of choice for Maurice Gibb, Gramham Poll and Basil Chubb, it has also been shown that Slippery Johns enjoy strong support in many areas of the Oman, where there were onion riots following Said bin Tumour's comments that "A Slippery John is nothing but a waste of time, it is a poor man's Irish Tea, a terrible affliction on our nation". He was subsequently beheaded.

Cultural Signifigance

It is also often said that the Slippery John holds a potent meaning throughout wider society, especially amongst narcoleptics, paraphiliacs and other ethnic minorities. The deep symbolism present is said to be extremely potent if the lager is added quickly just before consumption and allowed to develop a head.

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Preparation

Criticism

Cultural Signifigance

See Also

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