List of snipe hunts

The following is a list of common Snipe hunts or fools errands.
Work crews, workshops and so on
*a PVC pipe bender (PVC Pipe is bent using a torch however metal pipe is bent with a pipe bender).
*a bucket of vacuum, steam, sparks (especially sparks for the grinder), electricity, prop-wash and similar
*a left-handed wrench, hammer, or screwdriver.
*left-handed screws for the left-handed screwdriver.
*a bottle of wood-expanding fluid (for someone who has cut wood too short)
*a box of grid squares
*a metric adjustable spanner
*a can of striped, rainbow, polka-dot, DPM camo or tartan paint
*a can of elbow grease
*a wire stretcher for electricians (usually described in great detail to an apprentice who is sent to find it)
*a can of pipe-stretcher (usually described in detail to an apprentice who is sent to find it when a run of conduit is a few inches short).
*a grid-leak drip-pan (from the days of vacuum tubes)
*a board stretcher
*a rafter jack
*a foot of fallopian tube (also used in hospitals)
*a sky hook
*a short ten-footer
*a box of glass or rubber nails.
*a bubble for a spirit level
*a metric hammer
*a box of head joints
*an aluminium magnet
*a box of spots for the spotwelder
*Fluorescent tube bender
*ID10-T tool (idiot tool)
*Toe Nails (in Carpentry, a toe nail is a normal nail hammered into one side of a piece of wood at angle to hold it to something touching a side 90 degrees away)
*A sixteen-amp (or other) short circuit (electricians)
*A box of Nine Inch Nails
*Buttons (for a new coat of paint)
*A bucket of Ohms (electricians)
*A hole-mover
Oil field
* Key to the 'V' door
* Calibrate the Sheave wheels (Logging)
* Fill a bucket with steam
Mechanic shops
*Muffler bearings
*Spark plugs for a diesel engine (diesel engines do not use spark plugs, though they may use glow plugs)
*Bougie sparks
*Having someone check the coolant level for an air-cooled engine (such as in an older Volkswagen or a Deutz AG engine).
*Radiator hose, water pump, or thermostat for an air-cooled engine
*Having someone check the rear differential on a front wheel drive car (there is no rear differential on a front wheel drive vehicle).
*Blinker fluid or blinker fluid reservoir
*Winter air for tires
*Muffler belt
*Electric fan belt
*Carburetor thrust washer
*Flux capacitor for a DeLorean (which was used for time travel in the film Back to the Future)
*Fluorescent tube bender
*Halogen fluid (Halogens are normally gasses, and are usually kept in sealed headlamp bulbs.)
*Having someone change the transmission exhaust manifold
*Exhaust Manifold Modulation Switch
*Ask to replace the rice (works only on sport compacts)
*Piston return spring
*Wiper blade sharpener
*Can of compression
*Spots for the spot welder
*Any part for a 1983 Chevrolet Corvette (that model year was skipped due to production problems)
*Piston or camshaft parts for a rotary engine (such as in a Mazda RX-7 or RX-8)
*Crankcase lights
Scouting
*Teflon-coated sponges to clean dutch ovens.
*Dutch oven polish.
*A bacon stretcher or soup slicer.
*A "left-handed smoke-shifter", supposedly a device used to deflect smoke from a campfire.
*A non-existent electrical outlet in the woods, or a "tree adapter"
*A sky hook, for hanging tarps/rain flies from the sky.
*A length of "shore line" — often campers will be sent to the waterfront to get this.
*Dehydrated water, styrofoam stakes, or the glass hammer. Generally used less often, as these items are self-contradictory, and most marks will get wise to the joke.
*Spaghetti peeler; the story goes that your Mom gets her spaghetti "unpeeled" at the store. Often upon going to see the cook or quartermaster store will be asked additional questions: right or left handed, metal or wood, brass or aluminum, large or small.
*Compass water, supposedly the water that is inside your compass that somehow gets depleted over time.
*Keys to the oarlocks.
*Tent-peg-hole filler, a tub of earth to fill in holes made by tent pegs.
*The original snipe hunt.
*Metric tree wrench - No one knows what it does, but we can't get the dining fly up without it.
*A tent stretcher.
*Lantern fuel for a specific color of lantern. (Red lantern fuel for red lanterns, e.g.)
*Horizontal tent pegs
*An electronic tent dryer
*Rope grease - to allow rope to slide over tree branches easier while hoisting a load.
*Elbow Grease (how else are you to get the work done?)
*Left-handed hammer
*Underwater Basketry Merit Badge - this is only used at summer camps, where Scouts are told to go find the underwater basketry merit badge, usually at the waterfront.
*Inverted rain flies.
General military
* Brass magnet (on firing range)
* Relative bearing grease
* Winter air for tires
* Lightstick batteries - also chemlight batteries, lightstick fluid, a chemlight recharger, or chemlight refuel kit
* Electricity dust
* A can of night vision
* A can of beep for the horn, a can of radio squelch, or a can of track tension
* A length of chow line (the line in a mess hall), gig line, or flight line
* Radar contacts
* 10 feet of waterline
* Cannon report (The sound of a cannon being fired)
* Boom test - Where the soldier yells "boom" through the barrel of a cannon (howitzer) to test the acoustics
* Frequency oil
* Squelch grease
* Headlight fluid
* A box of grid squares
* A box of ground guides
* Gallon of checkered paint
* "Go paint the last post" (Commonwealth military nations)
* Can of muzzle blast
* Reverse lights for a Humvee (military versions do not have reverse lights)
* Keys to a Humvee (military versions don't use them)
* Blank Firing Adaptor (BFA) for a field gun (Rifles have them: field guns don't)
* PRC-E8 Radio - Pronounced "Prick E8" where E8 is the rank of First Sergeant (From the PRC-119 Field Radio)
* Exhaust samples - Oil samples are taken weekly from military vehicles, so many a new Private is sent to collect "exhaust samples". This entails taping a garbage bag over the tailpipe and turning on the engine.
* Shock absorber test. A new soldier is told to jump up and down on top of an armored vehicle to "test the shocks".
* A box of ohms
* "Go pet the gama goat" - the gama goat was an amphibious vehicle, not an animal
* Armor flaws - New privates are given chalk and a hammer and asked to mark armor for tanks and armored personnel carriers with x's wherever the armor may sound weak. Inevitably, the tank commander (usually an officer or senior NCO) returns to a vehicle covered with chalk marks.
* Stack of 0311s (Marines)- 0311 is the MOS Designater for a Rifleman in the Marine Corps. Upon asking, the Private is usually "dogpiled".
* The keys for the indoor mortar range
* Can of military bearings - military bearing is the manner in which a servicemember comports himself.
* A smoke deflector for a grenade launcher
* High Octane Rifle Gas (Most Auto / Semi Auto Rifles are Gas Operated meaning they use the gas from the current round to recock the weapon, if the weapon is closed bolt then it will also load a new round)
* Radio Net Large or Small (Actually a group of radios all on the same freq)
* Unscrewing the Turret - Private is told to spin the turret repeatedly in order to unscrew it for inspection.
* Radio link cutters or radio link tightener
*Blue falcons- (Buddy f*&%$#@) Ex: SGT Doe is a blue falcon.
Nomenclature which doesn't exist:
*BA-1100 November (balloon)
*TR-2E (tree)
*TR-Double E (tree)
*ST-1 (stone)
*ID10-Tango Form (idiot form)
*K9-P Solution (canine pee)
*A.S.H. Receiver (ash tray)
US Army
* Guard the flight line.
* Individual is sent to his platoon sergeant to find a PRKY-7 (Prick E-7, signal corps specific).
* New tanker is given a ball-peen hammer and chalk and told to find and mark the soft spots in an M1 Abrams' armor (there are none, and as such, the tank commander would return to the sight of his tank marked with chalk and possibly marks from the hammer).
* New Lieutenant tank commander is told that the M-1 turret is screwed on the race ring (thirteen revolutions clockwise) and is told by his crew to count turret revolutions, as to avoid the turret from unscrewing.
* New tanker is told to go to the motor pool for "Sky hooks and track stretchers".
* New tanker is told to check the fluid levels in the radiator (the engine is an air cooled gas turbine).
* Individual is sent to the communications NCO for a can of squelch.
* Individual is asked to obtain a vehicle exhaust sample using a large garbage bag.
* Individual is sent to the motor pool for blinker (turn signal) fluid.
* Individual is sent to look for a canvas stretcher to aid in the installation of a deuce and a half soft-top.
* Individual is sent to look for Lanyard Grease.
* Individual is sent to look for chemlight batteries.
* Individual is asked to ensure that they have been issued a gig-line by the quartermaster.
* Individual is sent on a mission to find a BA Eleven-Hundred November for his squad ("balloon").
* Individual is sent to the First Sergeant to retrieve a "box of grid squares" (a MGRS maps cut into 1 km by 1 km squares).
* New airman is sent to get a bucket of prop wash. (the airflow driven backward by a propeller)
Aviation and airborne military units
*canopy lights (for parachute canopies; supposedly for night jumps)
*afterburner flints
*a bottle of prop wash (the airflow from a propeller)
*a bottle of jet wash.
* <some number of feet> of flight line.
*a bottle of rotor wash for helicopters (Just recently, a supplier to the U S Army did send us something for our Blackhawks. A 55 gal drum of rotor wash for keeping the rotor blades clean. It will sit in the hanger until the cows come home or until a Private asks for it.)
*the key to the approach gate (the airspace an aircraft flies through during its landing approach)
*a length of flight line (part of an airfield)
*roof rack (generally reserved for cargo transports, common among commercial aviation)
*Keys to the drop zone
*an air sample while the aircraft is at a certain altitude (special plastic bag filled with ambient cabin air and then presented to the base weather shop upon landing)
* F-18 main screw (on the F18 nose there is a screw at the very front of the radome. Newbies are told that this screw runs the length of the aircraft and should it be removed the aircraft will fall apart)
*Test the manual intercom (some aircraft have tubes in the cockpit that resemble the antique telephones talking part . These are actually pilot relief tubes. Newbies are told that they require testing so he/she is required to talk into it to test it)
*Position yourself on the flight line and maintain watch for an incoming B-1RD (bird)
*Test the seismic sensors along the flight line (send a new airman to jump on a set of taxi way lights while security and tower personnel watch the 'victim' in his futility)
*Batteries for the vortex generator
Often, competing companies in commercial aviation will work together when someone is being sent for an item. New employees will be sent to another company's section of the airport, only to be told that company does not have what the employee seeks, but another does.
Naval units
*the golden rivet
*"mail buoy watch" a non-existent buoy a sailor is asked to watch for
*a bucket of propeller pitch or propeller wash or a can of jet wash
*several feet of fallopian tube (also a popular prank in civilian hospitals)
*the keys to the ship
*sound powered phone batteries
*bulkhead remover
*a length of waterline, shoreline or gig line (See U.S. Navy slang)
*relative bearing grease
*a bucket of A-1-R (Air)
*report sighting of a CGU 11S (Seagulls)
*keys to the sea chest (where a seawater pump takes suction or discharges overboard)
*a sighting of a B1-RD off the port bow.
*a machinist's punch (provided by an obliging Machinist's Mate)
*boatswain's nuts
*tool for drying the centreboard trunk (which cannot be dried unless the entire sea is)
*"summon the duty neutron" on nuclear-powered ships, this is the neutron designated to start the nuclear reactor any time during the current watch
*"get the keys to the stern gate" Amphibious ships have a stern gate to deploy LCACs, LCUs or small boats, usually opened hydraulically.
*"Spurlash" When sending people to ask for a spurlash they are often greeted by being thrown in the water. Splash!
*In the Russian Navy a new sailor is asked to cut off an arm of an anchor with a hand saw.
*a deck stretcher
* "sea bat" - A prank where a box or crate is placed upside down on the deck. A raw (new) sailor is told that to look at the very rare "sea bat", he should only lift the box just a little, so that it won't fly away. When the unsuspecting sailor bends over to take a peek, another sailor smacks him in the butt with a broom (bat). Usually take two or three episodes of this before the poor guy realizes what is really going on.
*a bucket of fish to feed the "shaft seals" (which are actually the material that keeps water from entering the ship where the propellor shafts pass through the hull)
*key to the wakewater tank
*a length of chow line
*bread to feed the shaft seal (USN Submarine Service)
Maritime
*watering the compass rose
*bringing water for the navigation light from the engine department, occasionally in separate bottles for red (port), green (starboard) and 'distilled (clear/white) colours
Farms and ranches
*Replacement tractor suspension springs (tractors have no suspension system)
*A rooster egg
*The testicles of a cow or steer
*A backward chain
*A 1/3" wrench.
*A saddle stretcher
Restaurant kitchens or catering
*A bucket of steam
*A square rolling pin
*The bacon stretcher (it's a little metal thing with bars, ask to borrow one next door)
*A rice peeler (we make ours from scratch)
*A tub of elbow grease
*A dough repair kit
*A bucket of light sauce
*A left handed pizza peel
*The colander with no holes
*A tin (or can) of chicken lips
*Two pounds of salmon legs
*A strawberry peeler
*Powdered water
*Lightbulb grease (fixes burned-out bulbs)
*Pot dividers
*A pan stretcher ("You weren't supposed to run that pan through the dishwasher, now it's shrunk. Go get the pan stretcher to stretch it back out.")
*A glass magnet (to clean shards of broken glass from a sink)
*A mince hook (supposedly for hanging up mince)
*Asking the trainee to chop flour (usually being told it is to some end such as "to release the gluten")
*Asking the trainee to find the squeegee sharpener.
*Asking the trainee to wash the dirty water
*Asking the trainee to mop the freezer (wet mops like to stick to the cold metal)
*Asking the trainee to go get more sesame seeds for the buns
*Asking a trainee to drain the hot water from the coffee maker (the orange valve connected to the tap; done "to keep the heating element from rusting. Very expensive to fix.")
* Hot Dog buns at McDonalds
* Sweep the apron (I work in a hotel converted from an old airport - the apron is the runway out the back).
* Leg of Salmon
Bartenders
*Left handed wine key
*A left-handed shaker tin
*Cuba Libre cocktail mix
*Cape Cod cocktail mix
*Banana juice
*Margarita Ice
Theater tech crews
*Hang a light on the skyhooks.
*When focusing ellipsoidal spotlights, if the shutter can't make a cut, the victim is asked to find a can of "beam stop."
*Put a gobo in the fresnel spotlight. (Only ellipsoidal reflector spotlights use gobos)
*When scenery or backdrops are being painted, the rookie is sent to find a "paint eraser" (usually told in great detail where it is and what it looks like)
*Given an old light gel made of actual gelatin, a newbie is told to wash the gel, but to be very careful, as it is the only gel they have. Such gels dissolve in water.
*Another trick involving gels is to have the newbie fetch a "gel stretcher" after putting the gel in warm water to soften. Not only will they have a very difficult time finding a non-existent tool but the gel should have dissolved by the time they get back to it.
Motion Picture Sets
*A bag of F-stops (the exposure markings on the side of a camera lens).
*A roll of Reverse ND or Minus ND (a neutral density filter is used in front of camera lenses, and neutral density gel in front of lighting units to lower the amount of light entering the lens or being projected from the light. Filters only ever subtract light, they cannot add light).
*A bulb-repair kit, to repair a blown light bulb.
*When a new grip is helping to set up the camera dolly, and they set it on the rails backwards, the person is told that they've pulled the left-hand dolly (or southpaw dolly) from the truck, and that they'll need to go back and get the right-hand dolly for this shot. It will look exactly the same as this dolly, but the dolly will face the opposite way. While they go off to the grip truck to look for it, the rest of the grips merely flip the dolly on the track.
Miscellaneous
*In a shoe store: sending a new trainee to ask for a "wall stretcher" so we can fit more shoes in the wall.
*In a busy office: a day stretcher. "Call Office Depot and order me a week's worth of day stretchers."
*In marching bands: the cymbal key (supposedly for tuning cymbals)
*In Drum Corps and Marching bands: turf spray (for marching on astroturf)
*In hotels: a room that does not exist
*In electronics: a can of bias grease
*In computers: a write only memory WOM
*In television: the chroma key to open the genlock
*Also in television: additional time code to refill a tape machine that is running out
*In baseball: the keys to the batter's box, the left handed fungo bat, a container of curveballs.
*In the grocery business: food for the lobsters (which don't need to be fed)
*Also in the grocery business: A shelf stretcher
*In lumberyards: A hydraulic board stretcher.
*In chemistry laboratories: a bucketful of benzene rings.(A benzene ring is the name of a type of molecular structure)
*In newspapers: a paper stretcher, or a word stretcher (for stretching words to fit in a column)
*In restaurants the (any food) repair kit, e.g. the pizza repair kit.
*Also in restaurants: To clean, bring drinks to, etc. a table that doesn't exist (in the case of relatively new hires who only partially know the table numbers).
*In landscaping: the block stretcher (supposed to stretch bricks to fit into oversized areas)
*In trucking: To pick up a load of sailboat fuel.
*In health care: To fetch a fallopian tube (actually a part of the female reproductive tract)
*To a panicked chatterbox: A muffle cover.
*In boating (especially whitewater): Bowline detachment tool (the bowline is detached by hand). This gag often involves several companies.
*In any building: asking a new employee to go get something (an actual item) from the basement...when there really is no basement
*In coin collecting: A 1975 United States Quarter (two years of the 1976 bicentennial quarter were minted. No 1975 Quarters were minted).
*In lifeguarding: The keys to the oar locks.
*In lifeguarding: A jar of shark repellent. (Sometimes a lifeguard at a different beach will disappear and return with a jar of urine, filled to the top, so it is difficult to carry without spilling it on one's hands.)
*The American filmmaker, Don Siegel was told, as a Warner Brothers film library apprentice to "go and get a bag of sprocket holes" that the film librarian desperately needed.
*In theaters or stores: Counting the gumballs in a gumball machine (new employees are generally given plastic gloves and told to count them one by one.)
*In theaters or stores: Refilling the water fountains (new employees are given a bucket and told to fill it with water and pour it into the water fountain's drain to 'refill' it.)
*In old school technical circles with reel to reel data tapes, you had a newbie look for a box of EOT (end of tape) markers, because the box he was holding were full of "BOT (beginning of tape) markers" - and that, "my gawd man!", would crash the computer trying to read the tape. (ah, yea... there is no difference)
*In printing, a box of halftone dots.
*On mountainous highways, rowdy children on long road trips can be told to watch for 'Falling Rock', the Indian chief, as many of said highways contain Falling Rock warning signs.
*Watering the plants in a location with artificial plants (Warning: may cause the potting material to rot if left to an especially gullible employee.)
*Asking a trainee to retrieve something from the basement. Causes the trainee to look in every door for stairs. (Only works when there is no basement.)
*In Department/Grocery Stores, telling the trainee to go outside and flip the switch for the parking lot lights (which come on automatically at dark).
*On the Internet, port scanning or hacking the IP 127.0.0.1 or ::1.

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