Gay acceptance in the South

Gay Acceptance in the South--Discoface91 (talk) 01:09, 9 December 2008 (UTC)

The purpose of this essay is to create discussion and give insight on a number of issues concerning homosexuality in the south. I hope that it serves as a good source for those interested in researching this particular subject and the different viewpoints expressed by both sides of the arguement on whether or not homosexuality is gaining acceptance in the southern region of the United States.

When discussing Homosexuality and the New South, one controversial issue is perceived acceptance. Has it become more acceptable to be gay or lesbian in the Southern Region of the United States? Some would argue that the South is still deeply rooted in hate and discrimination even suggesting that the South hasn’t changed, at all, since the Civil War and is as intolerant as ever. Others contend that the area is blossoming into a more educated, accepting, and diverse region. I am going to discuss the latter and intend to provide further supporting research that the idealism of the close-minded Southerner is being expelled. I do concede that bias has not been eliminated, yet still maintain, that as a whole - the South, via higher education and the influx of a more diverse population with diverse ideas, has become a more tolerant place for gay people. According to the U.S. Census Bureau in their educational attainment of the population (twenty-five years and over) for the United States, Regions, and States from 1990 and 2000, the number of Southerners with a high school diploma rose by nearly six percent, the number of Southerners with some college degree rose by nearly seven percent, and the number of Southerners with a bachelors degree or more rose by nearly four percent. This steady increase, over ten years, of Southerners (twenty-five or older) with some form of higher education shows the ever rising trend in education in the South. This data, combined with the population increase of 10,585,948 of persons in the age range of twenty-five and older, over ten years, shows how the influx of people from other regions has helped to bring about a change in the perception of education and it’s importance to the South. I largely contribute the increase of homosexual acceptance in the South to the change in the perception of education as a necessity. I suggest further that until someone is receptive to an unbiased education, on a topic that may be foreign to them, such as homosexuality, that the only place to obtain that knowledge is from current, local paradigms. This becomes an issue as most paradigms concerning homosexuality, particularly in the South, have negative connotations and invoke hate and rejection. One prevalent paradigm, as noted in a gay rights overview by Public Agenda, says “For much of American history, indeed, for much of world history, homosexuality has been a taboo subject. Often, it has been considered a crime in itself.” Essentially this agrees with my argument that without thoughtful discussion and further education close-minded paradigms, such as homosexuality as a crime, will remain. These negative beliefs, besides resulting from a lack of communication, also stem from the church. The church dictates a large part of the Southern lifestyle most notably - the Southern Baptist Church. The SBC is notorious for their anti-gay sentiments and unfortunately this is an ideal that has gotten worse over the years. As stated in The Southern Baptist Convention and Homosexuality, “The 35 million Baptists form the largest division within Protestant Christianity in the United States … traditionally this denomination had varying levels of tolerance for homosexuality and had expressed concern over gay-bashing. However, with the shift of some Baptist associations towards Fundamentalism during the last 15 years,attitudes have significantly hardened into an extreme opposition to equal rights for gays, bisexuals, and lesbians.” Although the SBC maintains that “homosexuality is a sin, homosexual ministers should be removed, and gay and lesbian people must renounce their lifestyle if they want to be members of the denomination”. It is here that I make my case, I believe that because education, specifically on human rights, has become so prevalent, the SBC is no longer the only source of information for people in the South on how humans should be treated specifically in respect to homosexuality. In a report titled Perspectives on Equity by The National Coalition for Equity in Education it is said that “2. We are all one species. There is no scientific justification for the notion of race or for claiming the superiority or inferiority of different groups. Individuals and groups internalize and transfer the systematic mistreatment. They often act harmfully toward themselves and other members of their group. This process must be identified and eliminated.” The enumeration of rights in Perspectives on Equity allow me to claim that although the largest sect of Christianity in the South strongly opposes homosexuality, there is growing research and documentation provided through education that lends support to acceptance. I further imply that while homosexuality will never be widely accepted within the church, that many members, even if not openly, do embrace their own sexuality. In a quote from Leaving the Confederate Closet by Bonnie R. Strickland, the author, after setting herself up to be young but well educated, expresses how she remained a participating member of the church as well as accepting her alternate lifestyle. “I searched the Scriptures for anything I could find on sin and sexuality, especially
homosexuality. Much was made of “Men shouldn’t lie with men”, but I thought that guys weren’t supposed to sleep in the same bed together. … I did get the distinct impression that every kind of sexuality, whether of the spirit or the flesh, was sinful, and I resigned myself to everlasting hell.” (Page 102, Out in the South) I conclude this to mean that although, as previously stated, some regions and institutions in the South oppose homosexual acceptance, educated Southerners, even one’s within the SBC , are able to accept themselves by understanding their own worth and the importance of their own happiness; values typically obtained through knowledge . Thus, they remain Church members and maintain their given lifestyle keeping their private life private. This is not an ideal situation, yet, if one expects others to accept him, he must first accept himself. Ideally this acceptance would begin in the home, especially in Southern culture where family values are placed above all else. Southern families are typically thought of as large and tight knit. When one thinks of family life in the South things such as family reunions, Barb-Q’s, huge thanksgiving dinner’s and church outings come to mind. However it hasn’t been until recently that homosexuality within families is a subject permitted at the dinner table. I recently spoke with Mr. Kellar, a homosexual who has lived his entire life in Belmont, North Carolina. Mr. Kellar belongs to a Southern family, much like the stereotypical one described above where the family is very loving and close; despite the compassion among his family members he endured the first forty six years of his life as a closeted homosexual. Mr. Kellar described life as a young adult explaining that he always knew he had “gay tendencies”, he also described being ostracized in junior high not for being admittedly gay but for bieng perceived as gay. “I remember this kid named Dwight who did a weekly mockup of the school newspaper, well in the last mockup edition of the year, during our last year of junior high, the first page headline read Queer of the Year, you can guess who’s picture was beneath it.” Ridicule at school, as well as the general Southern rule of thumb, to keep one’s personal issues private -particularly homosexuality, caused Mr. Kellar to remain secretive well into his adulthood. When Mr. Kellar finally made the decision, last thanksgiving, to “come out” to his parents and siblings - his father, whom Mr. Kellar described as a generally closed minded man, responded to his son’s confession with “Son this isn’t the 60s its 2007! Your happiness is what is important to me.” Mr. Kellar’s story is an increasingly common one in the South, the breaking down of barriers surrounding homosexuality, has made it something that families can discuss. In his essay Myth and Reality: The Story of Gay People in the South, Jim Grimsley touches on the gay dynamic within familes, “Every family, at least of a certain class, has its story of Aunt Edna who lived forty years with that woman Miss Jane, because they were real good friends … everybody had a bachelor Uncle Homer, known for his neat-as-a-pin house where he lived alone; everyone tells stories of his frequent trips to New York to see Broadway plays, how sophisticated he is, if only he had ever found a good woman.” (Page 232, Out in the South). Basically, Grimsley agrees with my assertion that until recently homosexuality within the family wasn’t necessarily looked down upon, but was simply overlooked and not discussed. I contend that the acceptance of alternative sexual lifestyles, particularly in the South, has increased in large part due to supportive, even if they are quietly supportive, families. Grimsley continues his discussion on the gay aspect of families, and in my opinion it is here that he suggests that without the support or at least acceptance of ones family then it becomes even more difficult for a gay individual to grow truly be his or her self . “We have this much in common with gay people everywhere, that for us our families are our first battleground. We must survive our families in order to become ourselves, to realize that we are gay, even though our families never want us to be gay.” (Page 232, Out in the South). My point lies in the line “We must survive our families in order to become ourselves, to realize that we are gay, even though our families never want us to be gay.” It is here where Grimsley most agrees with my argument that when one obtains the acceptance and/or approval of his or her family, they can become comfortable in their skin and actually teach their families about the gay lifestyle. This is why the acceptance of a gay Southerner’s family is necessary, it continues to break down barriers among people and educate families in such a way that will allow future generations in the South to be even more accepting. After all isn’t this one of the greatest values held by the Southern family? To create, preserve, teach, and love future generations. The support of family and friends in and around the gay community as well as the revelation of personal acceptance within the gay community gave homosexuals during the 1970’s the courage to finally take a stand and fight for their rights. The Gay Rights movement was the first widespread demand for homosexual acceptance on a broad scale. Although this movement has its roots in the North, its goals and ideas trickled down into the South where they were welcomed with open arms. The book Rebels, Rubyfruit, and Rhinestones, by James T. Sears, shows in detail how great the participation of Southerners was in the Gay Rights Movement. Sears writes “Texans constituted the largest Southern delegation to the march on Washington. … Marching near the delegation from Birmingham, Mobile, Anniston, and Montgomery, which carried a red and yellow “Alabama” banner, was a contingent of two dozen Tarheels.” (Page 305) I believe the open participation of Southerners in these Gay Liberation movements, movements that advocated a lifestyle that less than twenty years prior had experienced both extreme discrimination and utter avoidance, again demonstrates the growth of support and acceptance throughout the South on this issue. It also aids my opinion that the growth of acceptance was influenced by the ideas of other regions. The promotion of homosexuality is typically viewed as a Northern ideal; I believe this ideal worked its way down South via Southern gay activists emulating Northern gay activists as well as Northerners moving South. The South over the years has become a “melting pot” for people from all regions of the U.S. and likewise has gained thoughts and principles from such regions; this is one of the largest aids in the growing acceptance of gay culture. Even certain cities in the South have become havens for homosexuals, emulating places like New York and San Francisco; cities like Miami, Charlotte, Atlanta and New Orleans have become the dominant areas of homosexual congregation in the South. For homosexuals born and raised in the South having these areas, near or where they grew up, where they know they will be welcomed and accepted for who they are is the single largest accomplishment of the South in regards to homosexuality. Despite the fact that there remain Southern towns, people and religions who discriminate and snub the gay lifestyle entirely, the last twenty years have produced Southern cities that are identifiable as a home for homosexuals. Having these places allows for more individuals in the South to openly express who they are and receive support and acceptance even if they don’t receive it from their home towns and families. Some may say, “Why is it so important that these areas exist in the South? Couldn’t homosexuals who need to move to a gay friendly area to escape rejection and discrimination just go north?” My answer to them is of course these homosexual’s could go north, in fact many do. However many gay Southerners would much prefer to stay in the South. It is their home, it is where their heritage is, they may lead an alternative lifestyle but first and foremost they are Southerners through and through. Southerners are typically characterized as having a love for there home and I don’t think Southern homosexuals should be exempt from this. This is the meaning of Gay Southern Identity. To know you are welcome just as you are to live in your homeland and live the lifestyle that makes you happy, to have family that may not understand but at least supports you, to have a religion specific to your family and your region whether or not the religion agrees with you, and to know that you are happy with your lifestyle. In response to a paragraph describing gay pride in the South, Jim Grimsley writes “What was Southern in any of this, beyond the fact of our location here? Maybe a sense of wonder at our freedom, at the fact that we had finally found our voices, or at least, the beginning of a voice.” (Page 235, Out in the South). Grimsley hits on my argument that the by gaining acceptance in the South, gay Southerners are able to come into their own and find their own identity as a Gay Southerner. My point here is that increased education as well as borrowing the ideals and perspectives of other regions has had a great impact on the present lives of Gay Southerners by giving them, for arguably the first time in the history of Southern Gay Culture, an identity. This should interest Southerners dealing with either their own homosexuality or homosexuality within their families so as to further spread tolerance and equality throughout the South. Beyond this limited audience, my point should speak to anyone who cares about the larger issue of human rights; the right to live with less prejudice, bias, bigotry and discrimination than the generation preceding their own and the overall right to happiness for all humans regardless of the region the live in, their race, gender or sexual orientation. In summation, I uphold that the South has, in fact, embraced the aforementioned human rights by means of growth in knowledge and diverse ideas and that through this it has developed a more accepting overall attitude toward homosexuality.

--Discoface91 (talk) 01:09, 9 December 2008 (UTC)

Citations
Bauman, Kurt J, and Nikki L. Graf. Table 2. Educational Attainment: 2000. Aug. 2003. 29 May 2008 .
Robinson, B. A. "The Southern Baptist Convention and homosexuality." Religious Tolerance. 12 Dec. 2006. 29 May 2008 .
Sears, James T. Rebels, Rubyfruit, and Rhinestones. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press, 2001.
"Gay Rights: Overview." Public Agenda. 31 29 May 2008 .
"Perspectives on Equity." The National Coalition for Equity in Education. 31 May 2003. NCEE Steering Committee . 29 May 2008 .
Grimsley, Jim. "Myth and Reality: The Story of Gay People in the South." Out in the South . Eds. Carlos L. Dews, and Carolyn L. Law.Philadelphia, PA: Temple University Press. 2001. 232 & 235.
Strickland, , Bonnie R. "Leaving the Confederate Closet." Out in the South . Eds. Carlos L. Dews, and Carolyn L. Law.Philadelphia, PA: Temple University Press. 2001. 102.

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