Fantasexuality

Fantasexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by the ability to only fall in love with someone irreparably unattainable. It is based almost entirely on ideals of fantasy and the hypothetical - always what could be and never what is. Vee of the Pathological Upstagers defines it by the fantasexual Rule of Three, which states that "At least three insurmountable obstacles must be preventing a relationship before the relationship is officially fantasexual." Such common obstacles include marital or relationship status, age, celebrity, or incompatible sexual preference.

Roots and history of fantasexuality

The idea of fantasexuality is derived from the Greek notion that true romantic love is merely an ideal and can never be realized. [http://fanta.pbwiki.com/#FantasexualityinWesterncultureAbriefhistory] Ancient Greeks believed that the act of coveting was far more rewarding than the relationship itself.

This is supported by other Greek ideas and traditional ideals of courtly love - as in fantasexuality, courtly love presents obstacles that are not easily overcome, such as betrothal or other social inconveniences, and consummation of a relationship is considered detrimental to it. Fantasexuality presents these same obstacles, but often a fantasexual will work to keep them in place, because fulfillment or consummation of fantasexual relationship would mean the end of it.

Fantasexuality in pop culture

The rise of pop culture in the 20th and 21st centuries has contributed significantly to the fantasexual condition. Movies, books, and plays are like a blank canvas for the imagination, encouraging fantasy and idealism.

Some notable examples of fantasexuality in pop culture include T.S. Eliot's poem "The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock", Bonnie Tyler's famous song "Holding Out For a Hero", and the performance pieces of the Pathological Upstagers.

Quotes

"It seems to me that if you place music (and books, probably, and films, and plays, and anything that makes you feel) at the centre of your being, then you can’t afford to sort out your love life, start to think of it as the finished product. You’ve got to pick at it, keep it alive and in turmoil, you’ve got to pick at it and unravel it until it all comes apart and you’re compelled to start all over again. Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship."
- Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

"I like too many things and get confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you."
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

"Some things are better left alone, separated, isolated, floating and suspended just above our otherwise foggy heads, something to look toward to clear away.... Taking comfort in imitations, however poor, because imitations are all they are and imitations have become all I expect.... I close my eyes and smile a smile of satisfactory something, all the while my body is just beyond my reach. I will dwell for eternity in the corridors of my brain, in hallways of memory, channeling aesthetic sensate perfection."
- Vee Levene of the Pathological Upstagers

"I want to counter the notion of the utopian as unreal with the proposition that the utopian is powerfully real in the sense that hope and desire (and even fantasies) are real, never merely fantasy."
- Angelika Bammer, Partial Visions

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