Dodgy night

Dodgy Night is the name of a night in which a group of participants (usually men) choose a seedy looking pub that offers the services of a TAB, arrive there in suitably seedy clothing (called dressing down) and proceed to bet on greyhounds for the course of the night.

None of the participants are expected to know or understand greyhound form, with the entire night based on "name bets". Before the night is over, the participants are expected to remove a fixture or souvenier from the venue without being caught.

The nights are generally well regarded by those who attend and are fast becoming folklore amongst regular attendees.

History
Unfortunately an offical date cannot be established as to when the concept for dodgy night originated. The official start of the current incarnation occurred in September 2003, on the large TV in the sports bar at the Batemans Bay Soliders Club .

The current incarnation traditionally falls in the Victorian city of Melbourne, where it has gradually been increasing in frequency since 2005.

The Rules
The formulation of a dodgy night is not spontaneous. Rigerous planning and set rules must be adhered to. It is part of the dodgy night tradition. These rules have been developed over time and road tested by a group in Melbourne. A list of the official rules is below, complimented by a simple explanation.

Rule 1
Rule 1 States: Thou shalt select a venue of doubtful quality that has not been updated within the past 5 years.

Explanation:
A suitable venue must be selected by a participant that is a working class pub, that has working class clientel is in need of repair or simply looks old.

Rule 2
Rule 2 States: Thou shalt ensure that said venue offers an outlet of the Totalizer Agency Board (T.A.B.)

Explanation:
Without the ability to place a bet, there can be no dodgy night.

Rule 3
Rule 3 States: Upon selection of venue, thou shalt inform thy closest bretheren under which alignment of the moons in which to meet

Explanation:
Once a venue is picked, the participant / organiser should advise those that he wants to attend the date and time of the event.

Rule 4
Rule 4 States: The meeting time must be kept sacred. Members of the bretheren who fall more than 1/24 of a day outside of the scheduled meeting time shall be put to ridicule, and must buy a round

Explanation:
Don't be more than 1 hour late, or you have to buy a round.

Rule 5
Rule 5 States: Thou shalt drink naught but dodgy beer on tap

Explanation:
When drinking over the course of dodgy night, competitors should purchase the cheapest full strength beer on offer in the venue. Simple choices can be VB, Carlton Draught, Tooheys New or XXXX Bitter. Under no circumstances should a competitor put the dodginess at risk buy purchasing an imported beer.

Rule 6
Rule 6 States: Thou shalt ensure that each member of the bretheren offer as a sacrifice part of their weekly earnings to the venue

Explanation:
Bring money to the night. Expect to spend it.

Rule 7
Rule 7 States: Sacrifice must be in the form of a bet on a greyhound

Explanation:
Competitors can only bet on greyhounds for the night.

Rule 8
Rule 8 States: Thou must place an offering upon any canine spied of dark colour with a crimson bib

Explanation:
If a competitor spies a black dog wearing a red bib, they must alert the others and place a bet on the dog, regardless of the odds. Greyhound Racing Victoria state in their code of practice that any dog listed as number 1 in a race must wear a red bib

Rule 9
Rule 9 States: Thou shalt preserve the memory of the night by taking wiht them at least one part of the premesis for prosperity

Explanation:
Before you leave the venue, you must steal something as a keepsake.

Rule 10
Rule 10 States: Upon completion of the night, the venue is considered "dodgy" and must not be used again

Explanation:
Once the night is over, participants cannot visit the same pub again. This is especially crucial if rule 9 provided something large, or of considerable value.

Future
As time goes on, and as more venues get improved, participants will find it harder to locate a suitable venue, however, as time goes on there will no doubt be more of these nights to be had by many people.

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