Calling shotgun

==The Basics of Calling "Shotgun"==
When a vehicle is in sight, any of the passengers can say "shotgun" aloud, which represents their claim to sit in the front passenger seat. The first passenger to say this is awarded the right to sit there. Once "shotgun" is called, any (now backseat) passenger who rolls eyes or implies shotgun rider is being immature will be subjected to a hit, noogie, purple nurple, or any combination thereof and may be excluded from participation indefinitely.
==Additional Rules for Calling "Shotgun"==
The Deed Must Be Done
For the normal rules of calling "shotgun" to work properly, it is essential for you to understand and accept the concept of the "deed". Shotgun may only be called after the "deed is done". Simply stated, the deed is any activity or objective that directly precedes the ride in the automobile. The deed can be anything ranging from a visit at a friend's house, to a shopping trip at the mall or a visit to the Grand Canyon. It cannot be stressed enough how important this is because it establishes a shotgun-calling time frame that ensures everyone has an equal chance of recognizing when to call "shotgun".
There is no crime greater than calling Shotgun on Monday in reference to the ride to the concert on Friday. Some people choose to play this way, and they are fools.
Passenger Must be Outside
An individual must be outside in order to successfully call "shotgun". The best way to establish exactly when the "deed is done" is to define this moment as the instance that you have left the building in which the deed took place. All passengers need not to have exited, but someone must hear you call "shotgun". If the "deed" is taking place at an outdoor venue, the exact moment when the "deed is done" is a bit harder to define with complete accuracy.
The Barefoot Rule
Since one must be outside to call "shotgun", some people just grab their shoes, jump outside, and call "shotgun" before putting their shoes on. This has been deemed "gaping", and is not a legal procedure. You must have your shoes on, if you choose to wear any, before you may call "shotgun". Violators of the Barefoot Rule are required to chug one full cup of warm red Sparks.
The Re-entry Rule
If an individual calls "shotgun" and then goes back inside for any reason, they must re-call "shotgun" after re-exiting. After they have re-entered the building, "shotgun" is once again fair game to all.
The Mike Reis Clause
The normal rules of calling "shotgun" apply to everyone except Mike Reis, who is not allowed to call "shotgun" at all. This is known as the "Mike Reis Clause". This clause can be enforced in the continental United States, with the exception of MD, NJ and PA, which are extremely pro-Mike Reis states. In some instances, legal action can be taken against any individuals riding in a car where Mike Reis is not sitting in the shotgun seat within these states. Although penalties differ by municipality, offenders can be forced to chug up to 2 full cups of warm red Sparks. This penalty is currently being reconsidered as part of the normal appeals process within the NJ Supreme Court for being regarded by many as a cruel and unusual punishment.
Fortunately, law enforcement officials typically have better things to do with their time than to help settle arguments over who gets to sit in the front. There is no record of anyone ever experiencing legal ramifications for wrongfully sitting "shotgun", and since Mike Reis fights like a four year-old girl, it is not uncommon to see someone else riding in the front passenger seat while Mike pouts in the back. In fact, Mike Reis himself has been forced to chug more warm red Sparks than all of the "Mike Reis Clause" violators combined.
Rule 6a (The Elderly)
Rule 6a applies to any passenger over the age of 39. These individuals have dibs by birthright on the shotgun position in the vehicle, regardless of who called shotgun. In the event more than one passenger has attained elderly status, all preceding shotgun rules apply.
Rule 6b (Tall Passengers)
Only if the elderly as defined in 6a above has foreited his right to the shotgun position, in the instance that one of the passengers is very tall (or has long legs) and the back seat would not comfortably accomodate this individual, the normal protocol for calling "shotgun" is to be abandoned for Rule 6b. Rule 6b states that the pecking order for the right to sit in the front passenger seat is granted to the tallest passenger. This right can be forfeited by the individual, in which case the next tallest passenger would have claim to the seat.

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