Anthony Crispino

Anthony Crispino is a fictional character on Saturday Night Live's recurring Weekend Update sketch, where he works as the second-hand news reporter. The character is portrayed by Bobby Moynihan.
About the character
Image and personality
Crispino has a black mustache with black hair. He speaks with a New Jersey accent and usually wrinkles his nose while talking. He usually appears with bulged eyes and nods toward the screen after the punchline. After Seth Meyers gives the question, Crispino turns it into an incorrect statement with his own twist. He always looks sideways (and sometimes up and down) for people spying even though the news is not fresh nor secret. Most of the time, Seth asks the source of Crispino's information. He usually replies with the odd name of one of his relatives or friends such as "Meaty Dianne" or "Disaster Greg".
Notable moments
* When Crispino brought up former Libyan ruler Muammar Gaddafi, he incorrectly referred to him as a "wizard" and recalled his name as "Gandalfi." He further erred by stating that the late ruler "was a real ladies' man, because he calls himself, you know, the President of Labia."
*When Crispino brought up actress Natalie Portman's Oscar win for Black Swan, he incorrectly stated that "Arkansas Governor Huckleberry Hound" was unhappy that "she made a baby out of dreadlocks," referring to Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee expressing dissent over her having a baby out of wedlock. He further mistook her film Black Swan for "Black Tron," referring to the 2010 film Tron: Legacy, starring "Todd Bridges," mistaken for actor Jeff Bridges.
*When Crispino cheerfully brought up the subject of , he mistakenly shouted, "We did it! We finally killed Oksana Baiul! UFO! UFO! UFO!" when intending to cheer the acronym for United States of America.
* When Crispino brought up the subject of Obama's tax repeals ("you hear about this...this Obama"), he incorrectly states "he's going to repeal the Bush haircuts" (taxcuts).
* When Crispino brought up the subject of Brett Favre's retirement ("you hear about this...this Brett Favre"), he twisted the statement into "yeah, he announced he's retarded" (retired), then points out "...if he's not retarded, then why'd he take a picture of his ding-a-ling?".
* When Crispino brought up the subject of Tiger Woods's divorce, he incorrectly says "he finally divorced Ellen DeGeneres (Elin Nordegren)....that was never going to work, 'cause, you know, she's Lebanese (lesbian)".
* When Crispino brought up the subject of ("you hear abut this...this Newt Gingrich") he incorrectly says "he announced he's gonna run over the president" (run for president).
* In reference to the royal wedding in 2011, he incorrectly states Prince will.i.am (Prince William) married Kate Gosselin (Kate Middleton). He then says "that's why everybody was so upset that he didn't invite Fergie."
* As a response to the release of the iPhone 4S he says, "Oh yeah, they released a new iPhone for your ass".
* On the topic of Occupy Wall Street, he claims that the Protestants (protesters) are trying to occupy Walgreens (Wall Street) because they want 99% off.

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See Also

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