Time and stress management

Time management and stress management, in most colleges, is the twin concepts of the management of, time and stress are integral part of teaching. The concepts are not new, but now being taught with greater emphasis and in a formal manner. Several books, written by eminent personalities are available, in libraries. These subjects have also been researched and their results published, in journals and research reports. In this article, I do not propose to discuss the various theories or research work, on the subject. I would confine myself to share with you my personal experiences on the subject.

All of us know and realise that we, as human beings have a very limited life span, of 70 to 80 years, of which the creative part is limited to between 30 to 50 years. The creative hours may not be more than one third of a day. Taking 250 as working days, an average of 2000 hours is available in a year for creative work. This is all we have in our Time Credit account for creative work. Unlike a bank account, the Time Credit account gets depleted automatically. The cheque-book for withdrawal is not in our hands. The cheque-book is with nature, which relentlessly issues debit cheque, every minute, every hour and every second, without our consent. A commodity so rare and limited and irreplaceable….. Should it be frittered away in a careless and casual manner? Very few of us realise, the value of time till perhaps past our creative years and when, the realisation dawns, very little time is left for creative works. How to manage our time? Here are a few tips.
#Plan your life. At some stage, we must decide the purpose, aim and goals of our lives. Life without goals is like a boat in an ocean, drifting aimlessly with the currents; it reaches no destination or at least not the desired one. We are on a boat with a map and some ration but no destination. This is exactly how we begin our life…Some of us do not take control of our life… we drift along with the currents and the winds… lucky ones reach some destination, others don't. Those who reach some destination do not know whether it was their choice destination… the joy of achievement could not be theirs… those who could not reach any destination would be floundering all their lives…However, some take control of their lives, they read the map, pinpoint the destination, calculate the resources of time, the ability, the companions and strive hard to reach the destination with a clear focus. Let me tell you an often repeated story from Mahabharta. The five Pandva brothers were the disciples of guru Drona. One day, the guru was asked, who his favourite disciple was. The guru pointed to Arjun. To prove his point, he asked the five brothers to bring their bows and arrows, and told them to aim at a bird, sitting on a distant tree. All the four brothers, other than Arjun, pointed their arrows towards the bird. Before shooting their arrows, the guru asked them, what they saw. All the four replied that along with the bird, they saw the tree, the branches, the leaves etc. When Arjun was asked, he replied that he could see only the eye of the bird and shot an arrow straight into the bird's eye. Life’s goals have to be focused like that of Arjun. Many people would argue that life does not proceed on the pre determined path. They are right in their own way. Nonetheless, I would say, that many a times, the boat of life, would drift in unknown waters, still one must correct the course, learn from experience and steer the boat to its destination. The joy of reaching your own destination is immeasurable.
#Plan your year, your day. Having set goals for life, we must now determine our goals, our targets on a year to year basis. We must set the targets for the year before us. The target should be realistic achievable and flexible. It should be supported with the ground realities. As we plan for the year, so we plan for the day and the month. We again fix the targets, for the month, for the fortnight and also for the day. What could not be achieved, on a given day should be compensated with another day’s hard work. Days gone by should get cross marked on the calendar. There is no way to recall the day already gone.
#Physical exercises. An alert mind resides in a healthy body. Physical exercise is necessary. Exercise should be according to our need and the time available. On the busy days, the exercise could be light and for shorter duration. Playing a competitive sport with the teammates is a healthy exercise, since apart from physical exercise; it promotes competitive team spirit, amongst the players.
#Relaxation of the mind. There could be many ways to relax. It could be through meditation, physical yoga, reading, music or through certain hobbies like playing card games, gardening etc. A tired mind is a liability; it is slow to absorb and react. We must find time to relax, even under pressure of work and time. Great men, who have made substantial contribution to society and the nation, have always found time, for physical exercise and for their hobbies. A healthy body in a relaxed mind is sine qua non for creative works.
#Family. With the growth of nuclear families, the time available for the family is decreasing. Where both the parents are working and especially in bigger cities, family togetherness is a casualty. While work is important, family is no less. In the changed scenario, since available time is less, the quality time spent together, should compensate. While spending time with the family, external disturbances like telephone calls, unscheduled meetings, unexpected visitors etc, should be discouraged.
#Social work. We should find time to do some work, the benefit of which does not accrue to us. Most of the time, we keep ourselves busy, in doing things for ourselves and for our family. No doubt, self and family are important and take priority over others, still a part of our time and efforts must go for social work, that which is voluntary and not for private profit. Few people realise the importance and the accompanying reward for social work. The goodwill and the blessings of the people, who benefited from your help, pave the way for your progress and achievements. One does not get an immediate payout, nonetheless every good and pious act is a credit in the goodwill account and some day one would draw heavily, when chips are down. Even otherwise, the joy of being of some help to others is a reward by itself. It does not matter, whether we can take out time every day for social work; once a week for some hours would do.

Useful tips
*Avoid long telephone calls.
*Do not give many appointments on the same day.
*While giving appointments, inform the visitor, the time allotted to him.
*If the visitor does not close his discussion within the allotted time, politely inform him of about your next appointment, while thanking him for his time.
*Keep a notebook ready all the time, to record office notes and the jobs to do. Reminders, both ways are terrible waste of time.
*Have the courage to say no, when required. Do not give false promises and hopes, for he would be reminding you through phone, letters or requests for personal interview, and thereby wasting your time or of your office staff. While rejecting request, be polite and sympathetic.
*Do not encourage casual visitors to waste office time. For socialization, he can be invited at home, club, or at a place of entertainment.
*Television channels, magazines and newspapers are useful, informative and entertaining, if seen or read judiciously, otherwise could be terrible time wasters.
*Carry reading material, assignments, laptop etc, while traveling or waiting. Time is put to good use and frustration of waiting is less.
*Be precise in your speech/discussion. Do not repeat, unless required. Let others speak. Absorb what others say. Watch other’s reaction, to what you say. If the audience is hostile, leave the idea with them, for a discussion some time later.
*Choose your subordinates carefully. Give clear instructions and delegate but supervise. Correct, where necessary but do not interfere, unnecessarily. A good and trained subordinate is an asset, for he saves your valuable time for important jobs.
*Think in your leisure hours. The most creative works are done in Quiet Hours. Find your quiet hour every day. It could be while listening music or playing billiards or walking or in meditation.

*Let me conclude in the words of Robert Frost:

Woods are lovely dark and deep,

But I have my promises to keep;

And miles to go, before I sleep;

And miles, to go, before I sleep.

Stress Management
Stress in mind occurs when things do not happen, as expected or desired. We live and work with, who think and act, differently than us. Their approach to a problem could be different than ours. Conflict arises within family, in social interaction or in work situations. For numerous reasons, conflict arises between us and others. In fact, conflict appears to be all pervasive to our living. Even if one goes far away, to secluded forests or mountains, one still carries stress within himself, for his mind cannot detach itself. Stress is therefore a state of mind and has to be understood, in that way. It has always existed and will always be; we can only contain it through understanding and training of mind.

#Religion: You speak of stress and the first suggestion is “Accept God and become religious.” It works for those, who are deeply religious and have abiding faith in God. They can leave their worries unto Him. ‘Thine will be done’ is their belief. A deeply religious man is a blessed man; but he who professes faith but has doubts, is a miserable person. Faith does not grow overnight; it manifests itself with divine grace in most unexpected ways. Seek His blessings through prayers and await his grace, with patience and fortitude.
#Impermanence: Is anything permanent in this world? Kings and dynasties have come and gone; mighty empires and great civilisations have flourished and disappeared. In our own lives, we see the rise and fall of powerful men, wealthy men, and intelligent men. Those who possessed riches become beggars and those who possessed nothing, acquire and accumulate wealth. Savings and investments of a wise man are lost by his progeny. Why, very often the man would see the destruction of his wealth, in his lifetime, by his own deeds. If impermanence is the law of nature, why be attached to things, which are short lived? Detachment is not easy, for man by temperament, is acquisitive and possessive and would not, therefore give up, what he has acquired or inherited. The source of sorrow is therefore attachment, be it to life or property. Give up attachment and lessen the sorrow. Let the thought of detachment, remain in the unconscious; the seed grows at its own pace, when the time is right.
#Look back: Think backwards; what was important 10 years back is insignificant today. What is important today would lose its significance, in a few years hence. What agitates our minds, in happiness or sorrow, does not evoke the same sentiments after sometime. The consciousness of looking back, and the realisation that all events, however, disturbing they might have been at that moment, become inconsequential with passage of time, reduces the stress of the moment. Happiness and sorrow both are transient and does not survive long. So when in stress, look at it, as if it happened many years ago. As one would not react vehemently to any event that occurred many years ago, so treat the present crisis as if it happened in the past. True, certain sorrows are too big to be accepted stoically, yet minor tragedies of everyday life, could be accepted with equanimity.
#Nishkama karma: Since childhood, we are told to, ‘Do your duty, but be not be worried about the result’. There is much meaning into it. While doing work, if mind is unduly worried of the results, the concentration on the work will be less. While doing work, one should think how best to do the work; all tasks do not give the desired results. More often than not, the results do not come immediately. If the mind is preoccupied only with the results, every task would be burdensome and could be left undone or unfinished. Just read the biographies of great men. You'll find that none of them could complete, what they intended to do, in their lifetime. In fact, most of them found tremendous opposition and resistance to what they said or did and still they carried on with their work, unmindful of opposition and expected results. If they had been unduly worried of the results they could have given up their works, in the middle. Great works, most of the time do not get completed or show the desired results even in a lifetime; the beneficial effect of their works is witnessed long after they have gone. Let us therefore do our work, with the single mindedness of Arjun but with the detachment of Lord Krishna.
#Speak the Truth: Very difficult, yes indeed, but practice it and see the magical effect. Look at the man who habitually speaks the truth; he is calm and composed. A man who lies will not be comfortable either with himself or with his fellow beings. The truth is a fact, a lie is a concoction. Truth will always remain the same; a concoction needs to be brewed every time. Honesty of words and deeds reflects in the eyes of the person, in fact in his whole person. An honest man is a trustworthy person, whose words are plainly believed. No proof or exertions are needed by him to prove his point; his words are accepted at face value. Medical tests have evidence of increase in blood pressure, nervousness, irritable behaviour, perspiration and several other physical stress factors, when a person speaks a lie or acts dishonestly. We create stress with our dishonest conduct.
#Keep ambitions within reach: To be ambitious is positive, to be overambitious is suicidal. We must know our limitations of time, energy, resources and personal attributes. All of us start from a point and reach to a point. Wise are those who set their targets in the beginning itself and set about to achieve them, with determination. At every milestone in their journey, they pause and rejoice their achievements and set fresh targets, on new parameters. If targets are too stiff, the journey itself becomes tedious and the joy of achieving milestones disappears. Life’s joy is not reaching the mountain peak but the journey all along to the peak. As wise men say, ‘one step for me at a time’. Walk steady, walk surefooted, do not run too fast so as to stumble; you will reach the peak, as a mountain goat would.
#In life’s race all are winners: Strange that it may sound, but it is true. God in his mercy has given something to everyone. He has distributed happiness and sorrows, in equal measure to all. It is for us to realise his blessings and our potential and put them to good use. Let us not feel unhappy for what we don't have for there are compensations, which we don't see. Let us count our blessings and count them one by one and then shall we realise that our fingers cannot count all of them, for they are so many. No one is ideally happy and no one is utterly miserable. Life is a balance and who could be a better arbiter than God, to decide what we need and when we need. Let us therefore begin the race of our life with a positive attitude, and on a firm belief, that we shall be winners. Towards the close of our lives, we should be able to look back with satisfaction that the journey was worth it, and we too made it to our peaks.
#Positive Attitude: Since stress is a state of mind, our attitude to life, determines the capacity to handle difficult situations. Situations cannot be wished away, but positive approach makes it easier, to handle difficult situations. Look at the problem, in the eye and don't shy away, for the solution to the problem lies in handling it and not running away. Every problem has a bright side to it, which is not noticeable but in retrospect, it reveals. What matters is how we handled the problem, and those who handled with good cheer and optimism, came out winners. Every adversity, if faced with optimism becomes a point victory, strengthens our resolve and capability to handle adversity. Let us turn every disadvantage to our advantage. Let there be few scars in our lives.
#Humour: A simple solution yet so rarely used. When faced with a difficult situation, see the funny side of it. Once R.K.Laxman, the famous cartoonist was asked, how he felt when he saw the unpleasant side of human nature. He replied that he always saw the funny side of it; not that he was unaware or insensitive to the situation, but he always tried to give a human touch, through humour. How else to face life? Gandhiji once wrote that if humour was not in his life, he would have been long dead. All great leaders faced challenges through humour, which was kind, humane and benign without sarcasm and hurt. When faced with difficult situation, apply humour; the problem would appear less menacing.
#With people: The interpersonal relationship is the key .This is a relationship which has no ready made, built to order solution. Every individual is different; every situation needs a different response. Man being a social being, needs support and acceptance from others. Lucky are those who have acquired good, sincere friends. To make friendship is not difficult but to maintain it, is. Friendship has to be nurtured over a long period of time, with sensitivity and understanding. Those who are fortunate to have good and sincere friends are indeed, the lucky ones. They are our best bets, in times of crises. We know it and yet we break friendship for trivial reasons. A very dear friend of mine once told me that, ‘do not be in hurry to make friends but having made one ,close your eyes to all his faults. That is the secret of enduring friendships’.

To summarise:
Accept the adversity with equanimity and good grace for every adversity is a challenge to our resolve and our faith in Him. Have friends around, who would not fail, in need. Friendship, like old wine matures with time, so cultivate them with understanding. All stressful situations have a short life, they are not here for life; So meet them with good humour; they vanish before a powerful enemy named General Humour.

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