The Scare Factor

The Scare Factor is a satirical play written by Robert Mauro published through Meriwether Publishing Ltd., in 2002 parodizing the reality TV show Fear Factor. The one act play portrays the TV host, Biff Boo. and hostess, Lana Bright, forcing hesitant TV audience members to do things they're terrified of doing.

Performance and publication
The Scare Factor was published in 2002 through Meriwether Publishing Ltd., intended for students from junior high up to college. The author, Robert Mauro, has written several other plays parodizing television shows. On Contemporary Drama Service's Website, The Scare Factor has been discontinued. (However, some copies are still available through e-mail request.)

Character list
* Biff Boo, Emcee of The Scare Factor TV Show
* Lana Bright, ditzy supermodel hostess; assistant to Biff Boo
* Mindy Miterbox, contestant; afraid of having green glop poured all over her head on national TV
* Dill Glump, contestant; afraid of cleaning up messes of green glop
* Sandy Jones, contestant; claims to have no fears- afraid of ghosts
* Sue Dew, contestant; afraid of fake spiders
* Joey Bumpkin, contestant; afraid of being on national TV
* Paramedic 1
* Paramedic 2
Note: Some performances of this play may include security guards in order to stop any "audience members" that tried to run away.

Plot summary

The play begins when the emcee, Biff Boo, explains how the show works to the TV studio audience. When he finishes, Lana Bright, his sidekick, isn't on stage as she's supposed to be. After he calls for her, she doesn't have the index cards Biff needs to call up contestants; the index cards have each audience members' biggest fear, amongst other things like their next of kin. The first contestant is Mindy Miterbox, who is terrified of green glop. After talking much about herself and complaining about how gross green glop is to her, green glop is dumped on her head and she runs off screaming.

Then the next contestant jumps up in fright before Biff can say his name- Dill Glump, who is terrified of cleaning up green glop, tries to run away until Lana Bright catches him and takes him onto the stage. After much hesitating and stalling, he cleans it up (by folding up the cloth it had landed on) and drags it offstage as Lana Bright forces him to her dressing room for additional cleaning.

After announcing what Dill Glump will receive for appearing on the show, Biff rummages through his index cards and finds one saying that the person who wrote it is afraid of nothing, who happens to be Sandy Jones. Biff requests that she comes on stage, and then begins to list things that she might be afraid of. As he is doing this, Lana slowly walks on stage with a white sheet draped over her body, and then Biff asks if she's afraid of ghosts; she says no, but then he asks her if she's afraid of the ghost on stage- then he turns her around, and when she sees Lana she screams loudly and runs off stage after running in circles, begging from help from anyone.

After Lana and Sandy are gone, Biff proudly states that everyone is afraid of something. He looks through his index cards once again and finds one about an entomologist. He begins reading it, and before he can get to her name, Sue Dew jumps up and runs for the doors to escape. Biff reads from her index card that she is afraid of fake spiders, and then finally convinces her that there is no escape from The Scare Factor, and she walks up to the stage. After a while, Biff and Lana strap her to the "spider chair", an ordinary chair with straps (or handcuffs, ropes, etc.) attached to it. Fake spiders fall from the ceiling onto her, and Lana is not on stage; so Biff calls for her, and she comes out carrying a bucket, saying "Here I am, Biffy Boo!" He becomes angry with her for calling him that on TV, and then denies that they are engaged (because this, assumingly, hadn't been told to the public) and then Lana becomes very angry. Sue interrupts and asks what is in the bucket, and then after replying "You'll see..." they walk over to her and then start placing the fake spiders all over her body. After they do this for a short while, Sue faints (but they think she was scared to death.) As Biff tries to act calm and keep the show moving along, Lana takes her backstage. Biff rummages through his index cards, but then stops and walks backstage, and from offstage can be heard asking if Sue is ok, and if Lana called 911. Lana says that she did, and then Biff angrily tells her to get the spiders off the stage, and then notify Sue's next of kin.

Biff walks back on stage with a big smile on his face and assures the audience that Sue is ok, and looks through his index cards once again. He then pulls out one written by an astronaut named Joey Bumpkin. He jumps up in a fright and then hides under his chair. Biff, trying to convince Joey to come on stage, asks how scary can being on a nationally syndicated TV show viewed by millions across the world be for an astronaut. Before Biff can get Joey onto the stage, Paramedics 1 and 2 come in, looking for a "victim." Biff acts like he has no idea what they mean and asks what victim they are talking about. Lana then says to him that she thinks they're talking about the "spider lady", and when the paramedics hear "spider" they are frightened and run away. Lana follows them, and Biff wraps up the show and then leaves. But then, Sue walks out on stage in a daze with a tarantula in her hand (which is "real") and says to 'him' that she loves him, and "listening" to him, she says that there is no large, furry, fake spider on her back. She then looks behind her and sees it and runs off stage.

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