The Church of Google

The Church of Google (also known as The CoG) is the home base for the parody religion Googlism, that believes that the search engine Google is the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual God. The religion was founded in 2006 by Matt MacPherson. The site is not affiliated with Google Inc.

History and developments
Matt MacPherson, a resident of Ontario, Canada, founded the CoG in August 2006, while he was out sick from work for two weeks. The exact date is unclear, as the first archiving of the CoG on the Internet Wayback Machine on August 30, 2006, but the first post on the CoG Forum is on August 18, 2006.

Beliefs
The CoG Homepage puts the belief structure as follows:

We at the Church of Google believe the search engine Google is the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual God (as typically defined). We believe there is much more evidence in favor of Google's divinity than there is for the divinity of other more traditional gods.

We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of "God", as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner.

Proofs
The CoG has a list of " proofs" which "definitively prove Google is the closest thing to a 'god human beings have ever directly experienced." For example, the Church asserts that "Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals."

Commandments
The CoG has a list of the "ten commandments" of Google, heavily intended to parody the Judeo-Christian Ten Commandments:
# Thou shalt have no other Search Engine before me, neither Yahoo nor Lycos, AltaVista nor Metacrawler. Thou shalt worship only me, and come to Google only for answers.
# Thou shalt not build thy own commercial-free Search Engine, for I am a jealous Engine, bringing law suits and plagues against the fathers of the children unto the third and fourth generations.
# Thou shalt not use Google as a verb to mean the use of any lesser Search Engine.
# Thou shalt remember each passing day and use thy time as an opportunity to gain knowledge of the unknown.
# Thou shalt honor thy fellow humans, regardless of gender, sexual orientation or race, for each has invaluable experience and knowledge to contribute toward humankind.
# Thou shalt not misspell whilst praying to me.
# Thou shalt not hotlink.
# Thou shalt not plagiarise or take undue credit for other's work.
# Thou shalt not use reciprocal links nor link farms, for I am a vengeful but fair engine and will diminish thy PageRank. The Google Dance shall cometh.
# Thou shalt not manipulate Search Results. Search Engine Optimization is but the work of Microsoft.

Google Appreciation Day
Google Appreciation Day officially falls on September 14, which is the day "google.com" was registered. However, the holiday has been celebrated to a lesser degree on every 14th of the month. The day is supposed to be dedicated to searching on Google for ways to improve the quality of your own and others' lives.

Afterlife
Googlists believe that after they die, their contributions during their lives to the sum of human knowledge will be stored on Google's servers, allowing for the knowledge they shared to be remembered and cherished by future generations.

Criticism
The CoG has received a large amount of hate mail. In fact, a section of the CoG Forum has been dedicated to responding to and deflating the contrasting views.

In the news
Since its founding, the CoG has become the subject of numerous articles

. Furthermore, a New York Times Op-Ed piece ran on June 29, 2003, expressing interest in the idea of Google being god, although this op-ed piece is not about the church per se..

Main Menu

See Also

Main Menu