How I Conquered Your Planet (ISBN 0-9755799-4-0) is a comedic novel written by American writer John Swartzwelder, who is also a writer for the animated television series The Simpsons. The novel was published in 2006. It is Swartzwelder's third book. It combines science fiction and humorous absurdity. On one of the commentary tracks for The Complete Eight Season of The Simpsons, Matt Groening, the shows creator, mentioned that you can buy his book from bookstores and Amazon during the closing credits. The main character is a klutzy detective (and bus driver) named Frank Burly, who originally appeared in Swartzwelder's first book, The Time Machine Did It (2004, ISBN 0-9755799-0-8).